Colossians 3:13

Bear with one another.

If anyone has a complaint against someone else, forgive them.

Indeed, just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must forgive.

“Bear with one another.”

Is not…

Roll your eyes at one another

Turn your back on one another

Distance yourself from one another

Ignore one another

Look down upon one another

Be annoyed with one another

Grow angry with one another

Nurture disdain for one another

Belittle one another

Scold one another

Yell at one another

Confront one another on social media like it’s a sport

Keep score with one another

Hold grudges with one another

Withdraw from one another

Formulate theories from a distance about one another

“If anyone has a complaint against someone else, forgive them.”

Not if…

Someone has harmed you

Someone has wronged you

Someone has cheated you

Someone has offended you

This instruction is not about THEM. It’s about YOU.

Do YOU have a complaint against someone? A grudge? A theory of conflict?

Paul calls the Colossians (and us) to inspect our hearts – which is very different than assessing the sin of someone else.

Do I hold a complaint in my heart?

Probably. Okay, yes. Yes, many complaints.

Small thoughts, even thoughts that I have easily dismissed over time (but never forgiven).

Like this guy who is a friend of a friend on Facebook. He holds drastically different social and political views from mine. And he commented on my post in a way the made me feel attacked and judged. I, indeed, have a complaint against him. And this happened months ago!

Or the time when my family member’s repeated behavior was such that I made the decision to distance myself from him, both on social media and in real life. Yes, I hold a complaint against him too.

And I’m tempted to go on and on about THEM and their behaviors to justify my complaints. But Paul’s instructions in this letter to the Colossians…they are directed at ME. Not THEM.

“Indeed, just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must forgive.”

I MUST forgive.

Not SHOULD forgive.

Not MAY forgive.

I MUST forgive, just as the Lord has forgiven me.

I wish I could just COMPLAIN. But I must inspect my heart, be honest with myself about the complaints I hold against others, and FORGIVE. And my hunch is when I do forgive, I’ll be much better able to “BEAR with one another.”

Thanks be to God for the merciful blessing of forgiveness. God’s forgiveness is abundant toward me so that my forgiveness may be abundant toward others. Thanks be to God.